The doctor's call

We decided to go to the hospital early today to talk to the doctor face to face. I couldn't believe it when we were getting ready to leave and there was snow all over the car. I know its winter but we are in Texas here people. I mean what the heck!! As we walked in the door of the hospital my phone rang, it was the doctor, she said hi in her usual cheery voice but I could tell there was bad news coming. She said that through the night he was desatting and she felt it was in his best interest if he went back on the CPAP machine. However the little bit of relief is that she is putting him on it in cycles of 6 hours on and 6 hours off. I told her we were walking through the door and would like to talk to her.

When we walked into the unit we discovered that Brayden had been moved to another POD. As we walked into POD 1 the nurse and RT were in beginning to try and set up the CPAP. He was crying and screaming, Miranda was trying to console him as they were shoving the tubes up his nose and trying to connect the tubes. I could see the pain in her eyes as she tried to comfort him, all she wanted to do was grab him and tell them to stop touching her son. I could see the words bubbling up in her. After they got him hooked up they sat her down in a chair and let her hold him. As the nurses handed brayden to her the doctor walked in and the first words out of Miranda mouth were not, "Hi", but rather,"do we really have to do this to him" as tears ran down her face. She told the doctor that her biggest fear was Brayden developing another pneumo and that if she didn't fight for him and stop them from doing it that she would never forgive herself. The doctor told us that she wrestled with this decision and discussed it with several of her partners. She said that for Brayden's long term health it is better for him to go on the CPAP to help promote his lung growth. She said that there is a window between 30 and 34 weeks where the lungs need to be allowed to grow and that if he was not on the CPAP to help open his lungs, we would miss the window. Dr. Nesslein also said that if she did not do this for him she would feel that she was not doing her best for him but also said that if he blew another pneumo that it would be her fault. She told us that to try and help him but keep from blowing a pneumo she would cycle his time on the CPAP every 6 hours and that if his x-ray came back good in the morning then she would change it to 3 hours on and 9 hours off.

Here is a cute video of Brayden laying in mommy's arms and looking around. Today was the most active i have seen him as far as his curiosity. After he finished crying and mommy was comforting him he was looking around at everything making the funniest faces. The expressions he can make with his eyes and forehead are hilarious.